Now Hiring
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: Written for mass kink meme. Shepard decides to have some fun at Liara's expense by seeking the now-vacant position as Liara's new assistant. Liara decides to take up that offer, and show the Commander what duties would be expected of her.


**The Prompt:** _Femshep/Liara,_  
sex_ where shep roleplays that she's a woman seeking the now-vacant position as Liara's new assistant.  
Bonus points if she did it for the lulz and had not intended for it to get sexy._

__**The Fill:_  
_**

* * *

It was going to be a hilarious, time-wasting, annoying-Liara event. Shepard tried to wipe the grin off her face, despite no one else waiting out here. Liara probably no longer trusting anyone to take up the role, and no doubt expected after receiving Shepard's resume (name changed to a one Alison Gunn) for this to be a trap. The message back with the time and date of her interview had been professional, however. Which only made this better.

Even if she wasn't crazy about having to go out and shop for clothes. Dressy clothes rather than anything practical. Even the other women's presence had only helped so much for shopping for high heels.

Still, though, she looked good. In this dark dress, exposing legs and the top of her chest as it so rarely was, the dog tags hidden carefully from view, Shepard had to practically admire herself. She would sit here, with this datapad, waiting. Then when Liara opened the door, she would try and act all serious. Really have fun with all this.

Liara needed it. She needed to laugh, or possibly scream at someone for awhile. Letting out some steam. Considering she was now picking up the mantle as the Shadow Broker, the asari deserved to have a harmless prank played on her. Anything to make that look go out of her eyes, for her to warm and become that asari-girl Jane had met on Therum. Who blushed and made too many gestures with her hands and had this rather cute darkish crush on the Commander. Something that they'd always danced around, avoiding outright talking about that. It seemed to have disappeared, along with the nervousness and difficulty making eye contact.

It was a shame, really, the new layer of bitterness that Liara had been exposed to. She was over a hundred years old, but had always seemed much younger. Brainy and innocent. Now brainy and angry and willing to murder people. With her mind.

When Liara stepped out at the appointed time, she also had a datapad and distracted look. One that turned oblique when seeing who was sitting out here by the empty desk.

"Hello, Doctor T'soni. I'm here about that open position?"

Her favorite asari archeologist just stood there. Then emptily shook Jane's hand, when it stretched for hers. Took the datapad, as Jane went on about her qualifications and what the job might consist of and what the pay would be. That blue face slowly shifting, to rage perhaps, or annoyance. But the Commander was sure there would be laughter soon. Very soon. Please?

"_Shepard_."

She finally cracked a grin, hoping for the same in return.

Shepard was prepared for laughter, or cursing. Not biotics. So she was completely, literally, swept off her feet and thrown into the office. Liara stalking after her, closing the door without glancing behind her. Blue eyes only taking in Jane's wide green ones, as Shepard tried to adjust to being thrown onto a desk. A very strong desk, apparently. Her ass was experiencing the true meaning of pain, and her face was done in a grimace, eyes closing.

_I take it back. All of it. _

"_Goddamn_, Liara. It was a joke—"

"Shut up."

The words had practically steamed in the air. Jane had to open her eyes, _afraid_. Indoctrination, a spy, a Liara who'd had enough of her? An angry, angry Liara standing right before her.

"Where do you think you get off, asking about your salary already? I haven't even seen what you're capable of."

"Oh. Hey. This is. Um."

An angry Liara, who was putting her hands on Shepard's legs, prying them apart. Now would have been the part to do something. To say anything, and end this. Not made some pathetic noise that was not a word of complaint and begun arching her back.

"I am going to taste you. Then you will use that tongue for something useful, for once."

"What the fuck?" Finally. Words.

Words that Liara didn't care about, as she put that head between Shepard's thighs and begun licking upward. Slowly, but thoroughly. Like a wildfire spreading out. She didn't even care when Jane knocked over her terminal screen and a punch of OSDs and datapads that were stacked so neatly. All probably broken and ruined. Not even paying attention when Jane began pounding a fist on the desk, crying out. Begging.

"Oh, please, at least take off my underwear."

Ignored, as so many other things. That nose. How in the hell could a nose feel so good? Lips pressed painfully into her clit, rubbing and sucking at her. Her skirt was yanked up, and she hoped like hell the windows were polarized or whatever, and no one could see this. It was something out of Formax, one of the more clichéd issues that no one would think twice about after seeing.

Jane was a gibbering mess. Sitting up, just barely, wishing for the first time in her life that she'd neglected wearing panties. Sweat, and perhaps tears on her face. Existing only through her genitals, thinking with the little hood. This was Liara, a good friend that had saved her, and whatever this was, they shouldn't be doing it.

Especially when Liara pulled away, not bothering to wipe a face dampened, even with that layer of cloth between them. Then went to her omni-tool, checking something. Doing something to Shepard's own omni-tool so they had the same frequency.

"I need you to make sure you can take me calls."

As Shepard practically sobbed from the whiplash alone. "_What_?"

"I want to call Councilor Tevos, and ask about the new defenses Thessia has recently made a move to finally put in place."

Jane swallowed, loudly. "What? But I'm in no shape for that."

Liara gave her a disbelieving look "You can't multi-task?"

"She'll recognize my voice."

"I didn't know Tevos spent time around anyone named Alison Gunn."

Irrationally, she blamed Kasumi for all of this. The thief had even helped her pick out this dress. That stupid, stupid name. She was part of why Jane liked teasing others. Shepard felt herself beneath the skirt, soaking wet and close.

The asari's voice was disdainful. A teacher watching a pain-in-the-ass student waste class to do something dumb. "And stop, masturbating, for Athame's sake. Do that on your own time."

Liara went to the other side of the room, doing something with another terminal. She could have been arranging cameras, gigantic cameras, and Shepard wouldn't have cared or properly noticed. Working quietly, as Jane tried to work an omni-tool with half her mind gone. Waking up in that Cerberus lab with robots shooting at her had been less disorienting. "Hello, Councilor Tevos?"

"Yes? Who is this?"

Trying not to give anything away, deepening her voice. "I'm Liara T'Soni's assistant. I'm contacting you in order to hear about the latest update concerning Thessia's defense grid."

She almost sounded professional. Then Liara was back, still fixing some new datapad, even as she settled back down onto her knees before Jane. Oh god, no. The asari didn't care about the panic, or how Shepard tried to keep her legs closed this time. It was just a lapping tongue back on her, slipping, finally, beneath the thin satin fabric. Shepard remembered putting them on, tried to focus being aboard the Normandy, where she was not bossed about to call important people while getting head. For all of Cerberus' faults, this was not one of them.

Tears definitely leaking behind her eyelids, as she closed them. Watching Liara work made things even better, although, really, closing her eyes didn't help either. Nor did looking into the ceiling for an answer. All while Tevos went on and on about reluctance and the Matriarchs' and how efficient asari commandos are.

"Not as good as the scientists," Shepard sputtered out, before deciding to bite down on her forearm. Liara barely paused her tongue.

"True. If Shepard's so-called Reapers arrive, we will already be prepared enough. Please tell your employer that I am too busy to hear about her supposed-research about this Cycle she goes on about."

Jane would have defended Liara, at any other occasion. Aside from knowing how intelligent Liara was, Shepard knew better than anyone what the Reapers were and what they wanted to do. Instead, she could only grunt out some apology to the asari who'd been so reluctant to help Shepard, even when the human was before her, desperate and angry. Just like then, she bit her tongue rather than risk yelling. But for completely different reasons. Jane could taste blood, already, from her arm, as Liara swirled her tongue and could see bright star blossoming behind her eyelids. As Tevos hung up, and Liara stood up.

"You need to have more respect. Be more verbal. I am not asking that you argue with her, that would be insubordinate, but at least charm her to keep her on the line."

"Are you saying I should flirt with her?"

"Mildly. Nothing inappropriate."

"This is all _inappropriate_!"

"Though, Tevos seems to prefer other asari, rather than humans."

Shepard was beginning to get a headache. Just like actual office work. "You know from personal experience?"

"No, she has only ever been professional around me. But she does have a history of hidden asari lovers. Usually Matriarchs. And rumors abound about her occasionally seeing Aria."

"Wow. Wow. I'll definitely avoid making a pass at Tevos, for so many more reasons. I'm bleeding."

"Don't get blood on anything. Now, would you please pick up what you spilled?"

Shepard wasn't even sure if she could hope for a single orgasm. A thought that had never entered the stratosphere of her thoughts as she'd gotten dressed up, just hours before. "Your fault. I have to wonder what you did to your last assistant."

A polite snort from Liara as Jane picked up pieces of what had held information. The shattered screen. Herself sniffing, feeling her sweaty hair bunching around her ears as she cleaned up. "Do you have a broom?"

Blue fingers pressed into her mouth, like they should be holding a rag that held chloroform. Instead, she only got a nose full of her own scent, tangy and thick still. "Suck."

Even confused, Jane was still a good soldier. Obeying orders was always a safe idea, so long as no one was going to get murdered by doing so. Tasting herself, having those fingers against her teeth in an incredibly invasive way. Memories of dentists as a child. But at least there was a flicker of emotion over Liara's face, rather than the blank mask any information broker was sure to have.

"You are very skilled at that, at least. On your knees."

Goddamnit, this was even worse, in some ways. Because she was a glutton when it came to situations like this. Terrible at teasing and taking her time. She rushed through sex, with none of Liara's patience. And skill.

Her hands were placed carefully on the desk, for Liara to hold and watch. To trace over her fingernails with the tips of her own fingers, memorizing callouses. A kiss to those digits that made Jane feel light-headed from, alone, before her hands were released. "You are going to take notes on everything I say."

Encouragingly, Liara was already wet beneath the clothes that she took off while Shepard watched. And panted. Like a starving varren seeing fresh meat for the first time in a year. She had noticed Liara from the second she'd set eyes on her, sometimes imagining her naked or in something revealing, but it was only in her head. Safely buried in the back, along with snapshots of her childhood home, and old addresses and jumbled in with old recollections of past sex partners. Almost all women, and none asari. Her breath only becoming more erratic—a starving alpha varren.

"And then I want to you sent this message to…"

A year. It had been months, if not years since she'd really written a message besides joke ones to harass Miranda and get her to join the Galactic Fleet Online guild she and Joker were part of. It had been years, even_ longer_, since she'd gone down on anyone. Together, it was a hellish mixture of misspelling and trying not to apply teeth. From both activities, as Jane remembered those old tips from Basic from other people about tracing the alphabet, and not rip apart this omni-tool with her teeth as she hit another wrong button.

_I am tongue-fucking my very good friend. It really is an issue of Formax. She likes it when I slide just one finger in at first, and curl it. I know what Liara looks like naked, and not in an innocent-we-changed-in-the-same-room way. I came here to joke around with her. What the hell happened?_

Her hair was grabbed, as Liara directed her. Then she found herself being pulled up, a hand shoved between her legs and her own hand slipping into Liara's wetness. Smooth and hairless, darker blue, tinged purple. While Shepard was still dressed, if very ruffled. She'd walk out of here looking freshly screwed.

_Seriously. What the hell happened?_

_And why is it stopping?_

_I should calm down, make a joke about the retirement package, about what the benefits would include._

But Liara was kissing her, for the first time, and it was somehow more intimate than where their hands were. Having their eyes so close, noses touching, tasting one another. "Embrace Eternity."

They fell onto the desk, knocking those datapads back onto the floor again. Sprawled and groping, feeling hands that weren't her own on a body that wasn't her own either. Liara was everything. All she was had been tied together with the asari, leaving only this barest remnant of Jane Shepard.

It wasn't bad, she had to say, when she could form thoughts beyond, _please touch me I want to come against your fingers I want you to lick them clean_

She'd had some decent orgasms before. Normally involving a device, and lately, while being alone, but this one caused her to fall over and crack her head against the chair. And not even care, though her scalp was bleeding. Liara had fallen the other way, banging a hip on the desk as she fell onto the ground. Knees shaking, still pulling air in. Better even than the first time she'd gotten off, and had been shocked that it had worked and wondering what the hell was she going to do now because this was all she ever wanted to do again. And she did so, quite often, with a decent (horrifyingly large) Formax subscription and any spare time on her hands—which, given the state of her romantic endeavors, meant that shore leave was usually spent in her room.

And Liara had _been better._ Every peak of her life was followed by a low crater that she made as she was thrown down, kicked in the ass by fate. Her eyes actually hurt, from rolling back in her head. She'd pulled something in her leg that still hurt. Plus her ass still ached from being thrown onto a desk earlier, and her jaw was sore.

After a minute, Liara crawled towards her, to make sure Shepard was still alive. "If you make me collate something, I will have to jump out on of these windows."

Although, it wasn't like she couldn't have left. This wasn't exactly a real job interview. For a job that Jane needed. Fuck, she wouldn't even be able to have this job, if it were real, because she had to get back to the Normandy and help save the galaxy. Impossible to work full time when all you had were shore leaves. Plus, really, her typing was atrocious, even when she didn't have her face shoved into Liara's crotch. Which was most moments of her life.

Thank God that door was closed, and this room was no doubt soundproofed. And Liara probably invested in the finest technology to check for bugs.

Her walk to the Normandy was going to be interesting. A walk of shame, in the middle of the afternoon. She had no idea where her heels even were. Shepard could just see herself having to call one of the others to bring a change of clothes and comfortable shoes. Samara was the only one who wouldn't gossip, but Jane could only imagine the disappointment in the justicar's eyes. She spent decades learning the truth from people, and would know in a heartbeat what the Commander had done with Liara.

Fingers ran over her hair, over the scar on her eyebrow. Kissing her cheek, fondly. "I'm afraid I have other applicants."

"Fuck."

"…but I will keep your resume on file, in case things should not work out."


End file.
